How to Communicate Better in a Relationship?
Everybody face communication problems in relationships, be it arguments, dissatisfactions, or having nothing to talk about. Every kind of relationship faces such problems like friendships, family, work relationships, etc. while the most difficult communication problems happen to couples.
Even though couples have lot of love for their partners, they are most prone to communication problems. Romantic relationships are most vulnerable as our partners are the people who we expect more from. Without healthy communication, life becomes stressful and unsatisfactory. To express ourselves effectively we need to learn and master communication skills and interpersonal skills as our partners are the most important person in our lives. Some of the tips you can use for communication with your partners are shown below:
Your partner is no psychic
Being a psychic is what many people wish many times in their lifetime. Situations arise where knowing what the other person is thinking could solve the problem and make it easier to comprehend the meaning behind each and every word. Yes, words can be twisted any way people want, when saying or listening. Trying to understand something and not being able to create stress which can even lead to fights. People need explanations to understand, even when you feel you are obvious. Express and make them feel and know what you feel and want them to know even if it is anything negative.
Listening is the key
People want others to listen to what they have to say and just hearing it. Listening to what your partner is saying 100% seriously and not just talking or yelling is necessary which involves many other signs that show you are listening like eye contact, expressing your thoughts on it or through nonverbal cues, repeating back what he/she said, etc. It makes people feel important and special. When you listen, you come to know what they are dissatisfied on and can make you realize your shortcomings which you can improve with time.
Actions speak louder (including sexual life)
Non-verbal communication like expressions, body language and vocal tones consists of most part of any communication. Your body says more than you say with words. The way you say something matters more. It can create a big problem when it doesn’t match with your words. Saying you love somebody with a smile and saying the same thing with an eye roll makes different sense. Use other ways to show your love to your partner like with touches, hugs and kisses mostly when you are talking about something difficult so that your partner doesn’t feel unloved. Touches are shown to decrease negative feelings by many studies. You should not only be aware about your own actions but also that of your partner.
Talking it all out
Don’t get sad just because you think you work harder for the relationship than your partner as equal input might not be possible always. You should not avoid discussions on big issues face to face. You should also learn to be able to be assertive, tell your problems, needs and dissatisfactions. Be willing to talk which will bring you closer. Joke, be humorous and be happy which can lighten moods and improve communication. Use positive loving words and be encouraging. Love language or words of affirmation will make your partner feel loved.
You can use sandwich method, which is about telling your partner negative issues sandwiched between positive things. Make the positive issue to be the main focus but find a way to insert negative feelings or disagreements in between but don’t blame. You should also try not to talk very late at night as people are tired and stressed at those times and can lead to fights.
Don’t tell lies to your partner or yourself
You should make a habit of telling truth to your partner even if the truth is bitter, though the way you say it should not be negative. Telling lies is like walking on eggshells and can jeopardize relationships and break them. If you have any secrets or lies, you should find a way to communicate and deal with the outcomes. Hiding feelings won’t do any good. You should try to speak your heart out with the ones you love and care for as it is the foundation of healthy relationships. Stay true to yourself as when you are true to yourself you talk without fear and it becomes easier to have intimate relationships. Try to improve on the things you lag behind after accepting your own flaws.
Every individual can have different views, thoughts, ideas, opinions, etc. Attitudes and personalities are also different in people in relationship. That is inevitable and you should learn to accept people as they are. Couples who share everything are also different altogether. So, don’t judge your partners and accept them as they are. Try to encourage positive changes, but don’t force it upon them.
Have healthy arguments/conflicts are inevitable
Dissatisfaction on something or disagreements on something happens often. People have different thoughts which can cause arguments. But try to make arguments healthy. Reaction to differing opinions tells more about a person than when they agree with you. Conflicts should not be taken as a problem but as a way to communicate.
Ask questions if you are confused on anything your partner says. What you say might not be what he/she gets. You might interpret his/her message differently. Ask what your partner wants or expects from you and also answer everything your partner asks truthfully. Questions help in clearing misunderstandings in any relationship.
Let go of past fights
When a disagreement between you and your partner is solved, do not bring it up again unless your partner repeats the same thing again. Try not to bring it up in fights happening due to some other reasons. Let your feelings subside and then only talk about it in a calm way. If you start talking about it when you are angry, you will shout or tell things you might regret later. It is not good for you or your partner if you keep holding onto your negative emotions. Do not blame your partner for fights.
Walk away if you think you are being abused
If you think you are being abused verbally, emotionally or physically, it is best to walk away from it. Do not stay so that you might be in any kind of danger. You should not use abusive language, yelling, blackmails and emotional trauma. If anything is happen to you, communication does not work and you might have to report it somewhere. Being in a relationship means that you should be sensitive and caring. Walk away if you think you or your partner might harm you physically, emotionally or spiritually as avoidance can sometimes solve conflicts as people realize their own mistakes.
Make him/her feel loved
You should try to use “we” statements more than “I” or “you”. You should also try to be positive on what you say like not being accusatory. If there is satisfaction in a relationship, there is less conflicts. It is more when your partner feels loved. Try to make your partner happy and find love even in darkest of times. You might work harder than your partner for your relationship in communication, but if your partner loves you that is alright too. One of you might not know how to communicate effectively, but you must be understanding. You can show it in a physical and non-verbal manner or verbal manner using words to make your partner feel loved and treasured.
Thus, words or body language are forms of communication that can make your relationship with your partner better, happy and satisfying.